If you’re thinking about leaving your estate to a friend instead of your family, tread carefully. Although you can name whomever you want in a will, certain decisions could trigger family drama, legal disputes and even claims of financial abuse. To ensure that your wishes are followed, you’ll need an airtight estate plan.
Can You Disinherit Your Family?
It is generally possible to disinherit a family member.
If a person dies without a will, state law will determine who inherits the estate. However, if a person dies with a will, the will determines who inherits. As the Oregon State Bar explains, spouses cannot disinherit each other unless they have agreed to do so, but you do not have to leave your estate to your children or other family members. You can select a different heir, such as a charity or a friend.
So you can choose to disinherit your family and name a friend as a beneficiary – but this doesn’t mean your family won’t try to challenge the will.
Two Scenarios
In some cases, it is perfectly logical that someone would want to name a close friend as a beneficiary. In other cases, it may be a sign that someone has insinuated themselves into an elderly person’s life in order to commit financial elder abuse.
Consider the following two scenarios:
- Rebecca is a widow who lives alone. She has two adult sons, but they live out of state and rarely contact her. She strikes up a close friendship with her neighbor, Sarah, a younger woman who shares her passion for gardening. When Rebecca breaks her hip, Sarah handles her chores and shopping and even takes care of her dog. Rebecca’s sons do not visit to check on her even though she asks them to. Rebecca creates a new will naming Sarah as the main beneficiary of her estate. Rebecca’s health continues to deteriorate. Sarah provides comfort, companionship and care, but she has no idea that she’s been named as the beneficiary of Rebecca’s estate until Rebecca passes away.
- Frank is divorced with two adult children, a son and a daughter. His children live out of state but call regularly. When Frank’s health worsens and he starts to show signs of dementia, his children help him move into a senior living facility with memory care. While Frank is there, Mary, the daughter of another resident, offers to “help” him. Mary takes his belongings and pawns them. She gains access to his bank account and withdraws some of his money. She also has Frank create a new will online that names her as his sole heir.
Could Your Will Be Challenged?
Unfortunately, financial elder abuse is fairly common. In one example of alleged abuse, NBC News says a Pennsylvania man has been accused of stealing nearly $4 million from an elderly woman with dementia, with thefts occurring both before and after her death. He is also a beneficiary of her estate, and he has been named as both the executor and trustee of her estate.
If your family members suspect that your friend took advantage of you, they may challenge the will. There’s also a chance that greedy family members will lodge allegations of financial abuse simply because they want to get their hands on the estate. Even if they are not ultimately successful, it could draw your friend into an unpleasant family drama and long legal battle.
What if you’re worried about a family member? If you are worried that an elderly family member could be exploited, one of the best things you can do is stay in close contact. Talk to them regularly, visit them in person if possible, and ask questions to see how they’re doing. Also discuss incapacity planning and whether they need a power of attorney and advance directive. If you suspect abuse, report it to the authorities.
How Can You Name a Friend as a Beneficiary?
If you want to name a friend as a beneficiary, and you’re sure this is the right decision for you, it’s important to create a legally binding will. An estate planning attorney can help you create an estate plan.
You may also be able to avoid future disputes by discussing your estate plan with your family and beneficiaries. Let them know what your plans are. You don’t need to open things up to debate, but you may want to provide your reasons to help everyone understand you decision.
Do you need help creating your estate plan? Contact Skinner Law.